Kim Gibbs: The Guilt Guide

2/4/10

Post by Kim Gibbs

Everyone who has a conscience feels guilty about something.    

Maybe we feel guilty about dumb things we did as kids and never made right; about lies we’ve told to save face; about things we stole or broke and never replaced; about feelings we’ve hurt when we let people down. 

When I was thirteen years old, six friends and I decided to go to Wrigley Field in downtown Chicago to watch the Cubs play baseball.  As we were waiting to board the bus, someone had the brilliant idea that instead of dropping in a dime and a nickel to pay the fifteen cent fare, we could just drop in a penny and a nickel.  With the hubbub of so many giggling girls getting on the bus at the same time, we figured the driver would never notice.    

No sooner had we paid and gotten to the back of the bus when the driver’s voice boomed out, “Would you girls please come back up here?”  He had noticed our little scheme and asked us to put in the additional amount owed.

When we all crowded to the front of the bus to pay up, it was easy for me to hide in the middle of the group and not pay my fair share, which is exactly what I did. I reasoned that if I could hide myself, I could hide my guilt.  Wrong.

To this day, I feel guilty for cheating the bus company out of nine cents.  Of course it’s not the nine cents that bothers me, but rather my lack of integrity, even when I was given a second chance to come clean.  I guess it’s time to visit the bus station and pay a long overdue IOU.  They obviously don’t need it, but I do.

1/27/10

Post by Kim Gibbs

This is a blog for women. Why? Mainly because I’m a woman and so, for the most part, I share a similar perspective on guilt as other women.

Also, as I interview people – both men and women – I’m discovering that more women tend to hold on to guilt than men. Now it could be that men feel guilty just as much as women but don’t want to tell anybody else. Most men have a natural desire to solve their problems by themselves. But my research shows that most of them really don’t struggle much with guilt.

The women I interviewed would share a long list of things they felt guilty about and why, and the effect it had on them and on and on. But when I interviewed my husband Brad and asked, “Honey, do you tend to hang on to guilt,” he answered, “No.” End of interview.

When I asked that question of other men, the answers were the same. “Why on earth would I do that,” they would reply, looking at me as though I really was from Venus. They were taking care of their guilt and leaving it behind.

Of course there are many men who carry guilt and many women who do not, but my comments in this blog will be primarily addressed to women who are hanging on to it. However, if there are any men who are tuned in, you are more than welcome to stay.  I’m sure you’ll get some benefit out of this, too!

1/18/10

Post by Kim Gibbs

Kim and Sunny

I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those people who feel guilty about everything.  I have felt guilt over the little things like all the times I fed my kids cereal for dinner, all the bites of chocolate I sneak when my husband is in the other room, and all the money I’ve never made!

Individually, none of these feel like much of a burden, but taken together with the million other goofy things I’ve done, they become a huge weight on my heart.

I also carry guilt from the whoppers I’ve committed like coming up short as a mother and hurting other people’s feelings deeply.  Each of these are a big burden and make me want to hide in the barn for the rest of my life. 

How about you?  Are you feeling guilt over the minor things as well as the biggies?  Are you tired of carrying that weight around?  If so, then you’ve come to the right blog. 

Overcoming guilt is the one challenge in my life I actually have  found the solution for and I want to share it with you.

Through my posts I’d like to guide you through guilt.  I’m going expose the truth about guilt  – I think you’ll be surprised at what it is and what it shouldn’t be.  I’ll show you the difference between true guilt and false guilt and share some examples of false guilt.  I’ll talk about why we hold on to guilt and the devastating effects it has on us.  And of course I’ll reveal the steps I took to overcome my guilt and leave it behind me.

So tighten your cinch while this cowgirl guides you through the steps to overcoming guilt so you can leave it in the dust!