Confessions of Guilt
March 11th, 2010 | 
Author: 3/12/10
Post by Kim Gibbs
I want to try something new on this blog and open it up for anonymous confessions of guilt.
I recently read where there’s a 900 number people can call to talk about things they’ve done that make them feel guilty. The call is recorded, but I don’t think there’s anyone live on the other end of the line. The idea is to provide a safe place where people can anonymously confess to the wrongs they’ve committed and vent about their guilt. The response has been huge.
It’s a great way for people to face up to their wrong doings and get some pretty heavy things off their chests without being judged. It’s also a good start for those who are tentative about facing and dealing with their guilt head on. By talking about it, even if it’s to a recording, they’ve taken the first step toward accountability and healing.
People can also pay by the minute to listen to the confessions. Knowing that there are others out there who have done the same things they’ve done or feel the same way they do is comforting. It gives people hope to know that they’re not alone and there are others out there struggling too.
Listening to other people’s problems helps us put our own troubles into perspective, especially when theirs are worse than ours. Or we come to appreciate the nature of our own problems once once we compare them to someone else’s. It’s been said that if we were all to throw our problems into one big pile and exchange them for different ones, we’d end up choosing our own again!
So instead of having a paid number you can call, I’d like to open this blog up to those of you who need a safe place to confess, to tell your story, and to get some things off your chest. For those of you who are having a hard time confessing or confiding to another person face to face, this will be a great place for you to start.
I’ll call these posts “Confessions of Guilt” and they’ll be completely anonymous – no name, no initials, no nothing. I won’t comment on them (unless you ask me to) and won’t post anyone else’s comments about them (unless you ask me to).
Please keep your entry clean – no bad language, images or swearing. I’ll edit anything I think is inappropriate.
Who knows, confessing on a blog may be just the breakthrough you need to get yourself going on the path to guilt recovery!
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Last year, my two kids wanted me to take them to Disneyland. There’s no way I could afford it so I told them that if they saved up enough money, we’d go. I figured there was no way they could save that kind of money so I was off the hook. About a month ago, they came to me with a jar with $72 dollars in it. They had saved their birthday money and chore money for the past year so they could go to Disneyland. I told them it wasn’t enough yet and to keep saving.
I knew that money was just sitting there day after day not being used so last week I couldn’t stand it any more and spent it on alcohol. I guess you could say I like to drink because it helps me with stress. So now I feel guilty I’ve spent their Disneyland money. I feel guilty I’m so weak and I feel guilty because I drink too much. There, I said it.
I’m a career oriented person. I work in banking and love my job. I continued working after I got married and then took some time off to start a family. Now I have three great kids who are 5, 3 and 18 months. 6 months ago, I got antsy being home and went back to work. So now I have them in daycare and don’t spend nearly as much time with them every day.
But that’s not what I feel guilty about. I feel guilty because I love going to work each morning and it doesn’t bother me to drop the kids off at daycare. As a matter of fact, I enjoy the break. I love my professional work and really don’t mind being away from my kids during the day. I wonder if there’s something wrong with me because most mothers feel just the opposite – guilty that they have to work and aren’t home with their kids all the time. It’s weird that I feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
Recently my husband has lost his job. He is a good man, has experience in all sorts of jobs, but has been unsuccessful in finding something else. People try to be polite, I’m sure, when they ask if he has found anything yet, but sometimes this question makes me feel guilty. Especially when family asks. I feel that they are judging him, blaming him for losing his job, not finding a a new one quickly. It’s not like he isn’t trying, it’s not like he hasn’t been knocking on every door possible, but he just hasn’t been able to find anything. I feel guilty having to defend him, guilty that I have to be the bread winner with just a part time job and people seem to think this is wrong. I feel guilty because people are judging my family as a failure because he can’t support us right now.