Kim Gibbs: The Guilt Guide

Posts Tagged ‘guilt’

2/12/10

Post by Kim Gibbs

The more we know about the monster we’re  up against, the better chance we have of overcoming it.  So what is guilt? 

Guilt is that pang we feel when we do something we know we shouldn’t like not putting fruit in our kid’s lunch, or stuffing our exercise ball in the back of the closet.   It’s the agony we feel after betraying a spouse, or crushing a child’s self-esteem.  

But truth be known, guilt is really a good thing.  It tells us when we’ve done something wrong.  Guilt is the feeling we get when we break a commandment, a law, an ethical code, or personal standard that we live by.

The feeling of guilt is a signal, warning  us that we’re off track and headed in the wrong direction.  It’s like the rumble strip along the side of the highway that tells us we’ve driven too far out of our lane and need to make a correction fast or things will get worse.

Feeling guilty proves that we have a conscience and are concerned about doing the right thing and having healthy relationships with other people.  It shows that we really don’t want to hurt others, the dog, or ourselves in any way.  It’s the people who don’t feel guilt that we need to worry about and hide the dogs from.  

The purpose of guilt is to make us feel so uncomfortable and so uneasy about what we’ve done that we won’t do it again.  In other words, it tries to make everybody be nice.  When the pain of guilt is deep enough, we become motivated to stop what we’re doing and change our behavior for the better.

Making these changes will put us back on the right track and keep us moving in a healthy, positive direction.