Kim Gibbs: The Guilt Guide

2/18/10

Post by Kim Gibbs

One thing many women don’t understand about guilt is that it is a choice.  When guilt sets in, we have the choice of either dealing with it and moving on, or of living with it. 

We should feel guilty when we do something wrong, but that doesn’t mean that the guilt is there to stay for the rest of our lives.  We’re not suddenly helpless and unable to do anything about it.  Guilt isn’t a permanent chain that gets draped around our neck and now we’re stuck with it.  We always have a choice about what we’re going to do with that guilt.

If we decide to work through the guilt then we need to be willing to go through the cleansing steps that are necessary.  We have to face our shameful or humiliating actions in order to purge ourselves and leave that behavior behind.  Uh oh, that doesn’t sound like any fun.  But as difficult as it might be, it’s still the better choice because that’s the only path that will get rid of the pain. 

What if it feels like we have no choice about feeling guilty because someone else is constantly laying that chain around our necks?  Remember that no one can make us feel guilty without our permission.  No one can lay guilt on us unless we let them.  We can choose to accept that guilt, or refuse it and stay out from under it’s weight.  Refusing to feel guilty takes some effort but is well worth it in the long run.